Shape Up

My recent flakiness can be explained by a long week of The Olympics and happy hours and watching people do unfortunate karaoke renditions of Creep.

A few weeks ago while on the subway with my best friend, a seat opened up. I told her to take it as I continued to stand. I was wearing the wide leg jeans I bought at H&M near the beginning of the summer when she looked up at me and said It's not that your thin, you just have the right shape for those pants.

Don't think that this was a backhanded compliment. It wasn't. It was merely an observation on her part and a correct one. I am firmly a double digit size, and that's probably not changing anytime soon, no matter how much my stress level affects my eating habits. When I was in middle and high schools, I hated that fact. It's not that I'm necessarily pleased with my body at the moment, but I've come to terms about how I should be dressing it. When I was younger, everything was about the size. I bought clothes in a size smaller thinking that this action would provide the push I needed to lose weight. Instead I ended up looking at a closet crammed with ill-fitting clothes while eating a cookie.

It wasn't until I was older that I understood that badly fitting clothes added pounds. And usually this visual trickery occurred in the most unfortunate of spots. For me that was always the middle as my stomach hung over pants and skirts that barely closed. When I stopped obsessing about the number on the tag inside my clothing, I could finally focus on what was really important.

Shape in clothing is everything. And I'm not talking about this curvy, boyish, full-figured bullshit that you see in every women's magazine. What if you are a larger size but boyish in shape? What if you are short and thin? What if you, like me, are busty with small hips? There are too many possible combinations to try and squeeze yourself into just one category.

So I don't anymore. I search for certain silhouettes. I try everything on. And I remind myself that sometimes the rules that I've made for myself should be broken.